5 Ways to Improve Your Resiliency Now
Resiliency is the skill that allows us to bounce back from bad days and setbacks; the skill that makes us say “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” Just like any other skill, resiliency is something we have to practice to become good at. But how exactly do we do that? Here’s five strategies you can start today to improve your resiliency.
Slowly Push Past Fears
Fears and insecurities are what keep us trapped in unhappy cycles. Our fears might tell us that we can’t change, that we’re not good enough to do this or that, or that we’ll look stupid trying. The saying “do it scared” is a cliche for a reason - if you’re not confident doing something for the first time (and no one is) then you simply have to do it scared anyway. The good news? Everyone is too worried about how others see them to pay much attention to you anyway! You never look stupid trying, you look brave.
Consider some goals you’ve had in the back of your mind. Maybe you want to start exercising but feel intimidated by the gym, for example. Once you have your goal, take a small step to confront the fear that’s holding you back. In our example, maybe you could go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for just a few minutes. The more we challenge ourselves to push past fears, the more confident we get in our ability to do hard things, and the stronger our self-esteem grows.
Set and Focus on Goals
Building off the last strategy, goal-setting is one of the best ways to improve self-confidence and self-esteem. Making progress towards goals proves to yourself that you are capable and builds your confidence in your ability to handle whatever life throws at you. Think about your goals for the next year. They can be goals having to do with relationships, work, finances, personal development, anything you want. We encourage you to make at least one goal having to do with something you find interesting or fun - maybe you want to take up a new hobby or spend more time reading. Then, make a plan for reaching those goals over the next year, starting with small steps and breaking the task up into manageable chunks.
Values create goals, and goals are achieved by behavior. Trying to keep these three ingredients in line with each other can look like asking yourself “what actions do I have to take to reach this goal, and what behaviors will get in the way of my achievement?” It’s normal to sometimes engage in nonproductive behaviors or skip out on taking action towards your goals, but keeping in mind the behaviors on your goal sheet will help you stay accountable.
Take Care of Yourself
When we hear about self-care, we often hear about bubble baths, lighting candles, and treating yourself. While these things are absolutely great, they’re not really addressing the core care needs that help you be ready for life’s challenges. These needs are things like sleep, movement, diet, and protecting mental health. Sometimes, self-care is holding yourself accountable to a bedtime, forcing yourself to take a walk, and passing on a meal or drinks you know you’ll regret later. See, self-care isn’t always fun! Treating your body and mind with care not only improves your well-being and preparedness physically, but helps build the psychological belief that you are worth taking care of.
Learn to Set Boundaries
In order to be resilient to life’s challenges, we must know what battles are worth fighting. This can look like choosing to invest more energy in relationships that make us happy and limiting the investment we put into relationships that drain our mental resources. This can also look like saying “no” when we know we need to rest and recharge. Learning to be assertive can be a huge challenge in of itself, but knowing you have the power to shape your own experience is worth challenging yourself for. Make your boundaries clear - people will respect your wishes more if you say “I’m sorry, but I won’t have the time to take on this project today” rather than “maybe I’ll have time to get to it later.” Stick to your guns, and remind yourself that you can’t always make everyone happy, and that’s okay.
Journal and/or Attend Counseling to Realign
When life gets tough and feelings get overwhelming, we need to process to return to our regulated state. A great way to process events and feelings is to journal about it - simply organizing your thoughts into words can be incredibly cathartic and insightful. If journaling isn’t your thing, or even if it is, a qualified therapist can help you process your emotions, plan to reach your goals, and teach you the skills you need to be resilient. Looking for an experienced therapist in Shelby Township? Look no further than AWC - give us a call at (248) 413- 5865 and start your growth journey.
References
Tanasugarn, Dr. A. (2020, July 27). 6 goal-directed strategies to help increase your resilience. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-goal-directed-strategies-to-help-increase-your-resilience#3
