How to Heal Your Relationship With Time
Sometimes, it feels like we have less time in the day than ever before. Every year feels busier than the last with more work, more responsibilities, more pressure, and less sleep. Time pressures and time anxiety can show up as stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, sleep difficulties, and general fatigue. In this article, we’ll discuss the roots of time anxiety, the harms of hustle culture, and how reclaiming your time might be one of the most underrated acts of self-care.
Time anxiety is the persistent feeling that we’re against the clock, even when nothing urgent is happening. Time anxiety, like a radio on in the background, can create a droning hum of anxious thoughts and feelings that may color your life in unpleasant ways. People who experience time anxiety might have recurrent worries about wasting time, not doing enough, or being behind in life. Time anxiety can also show up as:
Trouble relaxing because “I should be doing something”
Trouble making decisions because everything feels important
Feeling guilty for resting
Feeling rushed or tense, even in low pressure tasks
Chronic fatigue and tension
If you recognise yourself in these symptoms, you’re in good company. Time anxiety is so prevalent nowadays because hustle culture and urgency is literally built into our culture’s DNA. There’s this constant drive for more, more productivity, more money, more experience, more profit, more work. In our culture, it’s desirable to have a multi-hour exercise routine and work in a high-pressure, long-hours field like finance or medicine. In contrast, a balanced, slower lifestyle is seen as lazy and unproductive.
Social media can exacerbate time anxiety by providing unhelpful comparison. Through the messages we absorb online, we might feel that there’s a certain age by which life milestones should be hit. We also see a multitude of hobbies, hacks, and ideas that are sold to us as the next thing we just ‘have’ to do, making us feel like just resting is a waste of time. Plus, there’s a reason why it’s called a doomscroll - there’s just something about scrolling socials that feels like a negative drain on time and energy.
A healthier pace isn’t about slowing life down, although it would be great if we could. Instead, a healthier pace starts with slowing your inner world down. Here’s a few ways you can start to develop a slower inner pace:
Shift from “what should I be doing” to “what do I need to be doing”? The switch from ‘should’ to ‘need’ wrests back the focus from external pressure to internal cues. Do I need to rest right now, or focus on a task?
Reduce micro-urgencies. Our phones are a huge perpetrator of the micro-urgency crisis. When we constantly get notifications and messages, it feels like we should be replying right away. If we have a few free minutes, it’s become autopilot for most of us to pull out our phones and spend the free time feeding our brains more stimulation. What if you challenged yourself to wait 5 minutes before responding to notifications? How would you feel about spending an hour with your phone in another room? Taking these technology breaks can help reduce time anxiety by limiting your phone’s ability to break into your inner world.
Intentional slowness. Re-learning how to enjoy and center in slowness is a practice. Maybe it starts with picking a slow activity you’d like to enjoy more of, such as sitting down with your coffee in the morning rather than taking it to go. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes, then put your phone down. What’s the sensations you’re experiencing? What details do you notice in your environment? How does it feel to sit here in radical stillness, embracing the calm of a morning ritual?
Give yourself more time. If you find yourself chronically rushing around, what’s stopping you from being intentional about giving yourself more time? Waking up 10 minutes earlier is worth it if it means you don’t have to rush out the door and spike your nervous system in the process. If you have the ability, leave yourself enough time between appointments and responsibilities to allow yourself to get there at a relaxed pace.
Time anxiety is real and very prevalent. We all experience it to some degree, but sometimes, it can become a serious mental health concern when it leads to anxiety, depression, and existential fears about having enough time in life. These issues are best addressed in therapy with a licensed clinician who can guide you through healing your relationship with time. If you’re looking for a trusted provider in Shelby Township, MI, we’ve got you covered here at AWC.
