How to Survive the Holiday Blues
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and that means that everything from the music playing at the grocery store to the ads you see on social media is reminding you that now is the time to be merry, bright, and shopping. But what if the holidays feel a little less red, green, and gold and a little more blue this year? For some, the holidays can be filled with joy, family, and good food; for others, they can be associated with traumatic memories, loneliness, and loss. If you’re having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit or feeling new or worsening symptoms of a mental health disorder this month, you’re not alone: the American Psychological Association found that 38% of people experienced higher levels of stress during the holiday season, and the National Alliance on Mental Illness found that 64% of those living with a mental health condition reported a worsening of their symptoms around this time of year as well (Pugle, 2023). The reasons why someone might feel down during the holiday season are widely varied, but some of the most common contributing factors are:
Grieving the absence of a lost loved one.
Loved ones being unable to make it home for the holidays.
Loneliness, social isolation, and/or estrangement from family.
General stress from holiday obligations - events, gift giving, meal planning, etc.
Financial stress from gift giving.
Stressful family gatherings or expectations.
Past trauma associated with the holidays or with family reunions.
Lack of sunlight and exercise in cold climates.
High expectations or ideas about what the holidays should look like from social media, movies, advertising, etc.
Any of these factors and more may cause you to feel blue during the holiday season, especially if you are already living with a mental health disorder. Besides feeling a lack of the holiday spirit we are expected to exude during this time of year, you may experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, or burnout such as:
Sadness or depressed mood.
Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy.
Sleep and/or body weight changes.
Physical and mental fatigue.
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or numbness.
Nervousness, restlessness, difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
These symptoms can make the holidays feel like a chore to get through instead of a joyful time of year, and society’s messaging about the way we are “supposed” to feel about the holidays can exacerbate these negative feelings further by making us feel ashamed. First of all, it’s important to recognize that there is no “right” way to celebrate the holidays. If your holiday doesn’t look like a Hallmark movie, it’s ok! It’s perfectly valid to not celebrate or celebrate in whatever way suits your needs and well-being. Some things that might help alleviate holiday depression include:
Limit external sources of holiday pressure, such as social media.
Spend time outdoors and get some exercise, which has been proven to be almost as effective as antidepressants when it comes to combating depression. Try finding outdoor activities that have nothing to do with the holidays, such as snowshoeing or winter hiking.
Assess your relationships and set boundaries. Is your blood pressure rising just thinking about answering that one persons’ questions at the dinner table? Is there a holiday obligation that just feels like a drag? You don’t have to simply endure these stressors; instead, you can set boundaries to protect yourself. You’re not required to accept every invitation or engage with every relative.
Share your feelings with trusted loved ones. Talking almost always helps alleviate big feelings, and having others in your corner who understand your feelings about the holidays helps at events.
Try volunteering during the holiday season. Volunteering even 1 to 10 hours a month can bring huge mental health benefits, such as feelings of social connectedness, purpose and meaning, contributing to society, and being part of something bigger (Pugle, 2023).
If these techniques aren’t enough to help you get through the season, or if you know your mental health usually takes a nosedive in December, then it’s a good idea to seek professional treatment. Here at AWC, an experienced therapist can help you understand and alleviate your feelings as well as develop a game plan for the holidays. The holidays don’t have to be wonderful and picture-perfect, but with some help from friends, family, and/or a professional, the season does not have to be dreadful either.
References
Pugle, M. (2023, September 13). How to cope with depression during the holidays. EverydayHealth.com. https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/ways-to-cope-with-depression-during-the-holiday-season/
Tesch, D. (2023, April 13). Understanding and improving the holiday blues. HealthPartners Blog. https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/why-we-get-depressed-during-holidays/
