Is The Term “Narcissist” Overused?
One of the best consequences of the social media revolution is the increased mental health awareness it has brought to the general public. With discussions of these once taboo topics out in the open, people are empowered to seek help when they need it, speak about their feelings and experiences, and discuss mental health topics. One such topic that has exploded in popularity is that of narcissism, narcissists and narcissistic abuse, and this topic has subsequently come under fire for being overused and misapplied. In this article, we’ll explore what narcissism is and why the term is overused in pop psychology.
Unlike depression or bipolar disorder which involves a disturbance to someone’s mood, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) involves a disturbance in an individual’s personality. People with personality disorders display lifelong patterns of relating to themselves and others in a way that differs from societal norms and causes interpersonal problems. Personality disorders are considered the hardest of the mental health conditions to treat because they are ingrained in the persons’ identity and people with personality disorders are often not bothered by their symptoms and do not usually seek treatment. In fact, the notion that personality disorders can’t be treated is so ingrained in our healthcare system that therapists cannot bill insurance under the diagnosis of a personality disorder! Whether or not the disordered individual is distressed by their differences to others, those around the individual often perceive and are affected by their symptoms. People with NPD typically:
Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant admiration.
Believe themselves entitled to special treatment.
Take advantage or manipulate others to get what they want.
Envy others and/or believe others envy them.
Are unwilling or unable to consider the needs and feelings of others.
Expect others to treat them differently or obey them without question.
Have major problems accepting criticism.
Become angry or impatient when they are not treated in the way they feel they deserve.
These symptoms paint the picture of a very hard person to interact with, indeed. Narcissists have trouble making and keeping relationships and typically display a pattern of short, exploitative relationships. Some people with NPD truly believe that they are the exception (called grandiose narcissism) and for others, NPD is rooted in secret feelings of inferiority and self-hatred (vulnerable narcissism). No matter the type, these people display a pattern of hurting others.
In recent years, victims of narcissistic abuse have spoken up online about their experiences and warned others of red flags to be aware of in potential partners. While these experiences are genuinely terrible and deserve to be heard, the attention this disorder has received has caused the term “narcissist” to be misunderstood and overused in pop culture. All traits exist on a continuum, and every single person displays narcissistic, selfish behaviors from time to time. One person has a more inflated view of themselves than another; this does not make them a narcissist. An individual may have difficulty accepting criticism and putting others down to make themselves feel better; this still does not make them a narcissist, it just makes them an unpleasant person. Although there are many people who display narcissistic traits and many people who are more narcissistic than average, there are few people who actually meet the diagnostic criteria for NPD. The numbers of people who meet these criteria are rising, though, prompting debate and research as to the cause of the phenomenon.
Many mental health terms like “self care” and “mindfulness” have taken on a life of their own in pop psychology, and “narcissist” is another addition to our psychobabble vocabulary. While it’s not wrong to call people out for their narcissistic behaviors, we should be careful not to throw around serious disorders and self-diagnose. If you are concerned that yourself or a loved one may have NPD, reach out to a mental health care provider for an evaluation.
References
Boyle, M. (2022, February 3). Narcissistic abuse is real, find a therapist who believes you. Sacred Circle Holistic Healing. https://www.sacredcircleholistichealing.com/blog/narcissistic-abuse-is-a-real-thing
Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (2023, April 6). Narcissistic personality disorder. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
